Crack Writer's block FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUU--
by SapphireBlueEyes7799
Summary: CRACK IS GOOD FOR YOUR COLON KIDS jk don't do it- HEY. WHAT DID I JUST SAY. HEY. Hey. You. You wiseass. PUT THAT CRACK DOWN AND READ MY WEIRD-ASS STORY. :heart:


So, this is what happens when I have writer's block.

And I'm trying to write a one-shot.

And I need to release my sexual desires. :D

CRACK FICS ARE FUN EVEN IF THEY'RE LONG AND DON'T MAKE _ANY_ SENSE. ESPECIALLY BECAUSE I _TRIED_ TO BE FUNNY AND IT DIDN'T WORK. ;-;

Also I don't down Vocaloid - But _oh,_ if I did...

* * *

I sighed and sat down at my desk, drumming my finger across the pale, chipped wood of the surface. My lips were pursed in a pout and I sat there, hundreds of thoughts echoing through my mind. I got up from the seat and walked into the kitchen, opening up the door to the freezer. I reached in and grabbed an ice pop - only to be brought down to the ground by some unknown force. I screeched in horror and turned myself around, grabbing my attacker by the neck.

"N-Nee-chan! - nng - I-It's me - aagh - Kaito!" The desperate voice of the male on me called out. My eyes widened and I let go of the older teen's neck, only to grab his scarf and nearly strangle him.

"For fucks sake Kaito you scared me!" I breathed out.

"Nyeeh! Ch-Choking me! Nee-chan!" Kaito used a hand to grab at my arm; the other was to keep him from falling completely on top of me. I pulled my hand away from his scarf and sighed, pushing him off of me. He rolled back and hit his head against the wall, whining in pain. I rolled my eyes and picked up the unopened ice pop that had fallen. I grabbed another one and tossed it to Kaito - who was unsuspecting - and it hit him right on the head. He flailed at the sudden impact, but quickly regained his senses. I rolled my eyes once again and reached out a hand to help the male up. I was stronger than I looked - so I _may_ have almost dragged him across the floor instead. But once he regained his balance he ruffled my hair and gave me a smile.

"Thank you Nee-chan~" He sang out. I simply pouted and gave a small 'tch, _whatever_' in response before opening the ice pop. I walked around and into the living room, plopping myself down onto the couch. I yawned and stuck the cold treat in my mouth before grabbing a pen and paper, starting to draw something.

"Hey."

"Kya!" I jumped and raised a hand to slap the one who had startled me this time, but stopped when I saw the blonde hair on their head. "Len!"

"Hiya." He smiled before sitting down next to me.

"Everyone keeps startling me today. It's not fair." I pouted. He gave a small laugh before running his fingers through my hair. All of a sudden there was a loud crash, follow by helpless whines. My face paled and I covered it with my free hand, thinking of what could _possibly_ be going on. That's when Mallow entered the room - on Kaito's back, not to mention she had the popsicle that I had given to Kaito earlier in her mouth. I paused for a moment and took in the image - then started to laugh. I doubled over and shook my head, mentally hitting myself for thinking of the dirty things that could've been going on instead. Kaito set Mallow down on the chair and he sat down not far from her. She licked the blue ice pop from bottom to tip, and I stifled a laugh. She gave me a look, and I gave her an even more devious look, and we both knew exactly where this was going. It was ironic that she had a blue pop and mine was yellow.

"You have that look again Nee-chan..." Kaito winced fearfully, afraid of what I could possibly be thinking. I shrugged.

"I don't know what you're talking about..." I smiled innocently. Kaito looked to his side and nearly gasped, but I could see him hold it back. He simply coughed and looked away, his face red. Mallow was licking her ice pop in an inappropriate way, gently sucking on it. I nearly burst out in laughter, but stopped myself. I took a look at the yellow treat in my hand before taking half of it in my mouth. I could hear Len squeak beside me, and I lowered my head a little more before coming back up. I slowly licked the tip a few times before fully retracting from the treat. I tilted my head a little and smiled at the blushing male beside me. His eyes widened when he realized I was looking and he turned away from me. I giggled and inched closer to him, but he didn't notice. I then looked at Mallow, and then we both did the same thing - we both licked our pops, making sure to make a loud slurping noise. By now both the boys were making small noises - and us girls found it very amusing.

"U-Uhm..." Len stammered before turning to look at me. I could see him from the corner of my eye, and then I took the whole pop into my mouth, ignoring my gag reflexes. Len's eyes widened once again and he gave a high-pitched squeak, the blush on his face growing redder than it already was. To the other side of me I heard Kaito suck in a large breath of air, then slowly releasing it, trying to not make any unnecessary noises as he watched Mallow do whatever she was doing with her ice pop. I giggled after taking the cold treat out of my mouth, letting out a satisfied sigh. The cold sensation was still lingering in the back of my throat, but I didn't mind.

"Ah...~" I sighed out and leaned against the soft cushions of the couch. Len was fumbling with his tie nervously, face flushed. I turned my head towards the bluenette, who was pulling at his scarf. This continued while we ate our ice pops in the most interesting ways. Once we finished, we both threw our sticks carelessly on the ground, and then cuddled up to our boys. I rested my head on Len's shoulder and laced my fingers with his. I turned my head - which was a mistake, might I tell you - to find that Mallow had her hand slipped under Kaito's shirt and was sitting in his lap. I rolled my eyes and looked back up to Len, trying to keep my own dirty thoughts in the back on my mind. It wasn't too long before I saw Kaito lean down and whisper something into Mallow's ear. She squeaked and her face became totally red. I laughed quietly, until I felt a hot breath on my own ear. My eyes widened and a shiver went down my spine.

"Just you wait until tonight..." Len purred into my ear. He gave it a small lick before pulling away. At that moment, sure, I felt like screaming and rolling off into the deep dark corners of my room, but I didn't. What did he mean by tonight?

* * *

"MAAAAAALLLOOOOOOWWWWEADFSKJLSMGCLFLBKVK" I yelled her name, along with several other noises, trying to find her. I felt dizzy, but I knew why. The boys had been so sweet to us the rest of the day, and now it was really late at night. I was suffering from insomnia, but I was your usual insomniac, not being able to sleep at night. But tonight had just been crazy and I was tripping over the non-existent socks on the ground. "Wheeee..."

"SAPPHIRE-NEE-CHAN, YO. WASSUP GURL." An arm slung around my shoulder and I jumped, falling over. She fell beside me, giggling.

"Nng, you whore. Don't scare me like that, fuck." I groaned and rubbed my shoulder.

"GIRLS?" I heard a distant call - and by distant I meant from the living room. I managed to crawl away from my room and through the hallways - but I forgot about the stairs. I reached out a hand, only I grabbed on the wood of the stair and flipped myself forward, my ass bumping on each stair as I went down.

"AAAGGGHHH, MY ASS!" I whined as I stopped going down. I rolled onto my side and curled up into a ball before deciding to move on. I continued to crawl along the floor, wriggling my body like a snake. I made my way to the living room shortly to find Len and Kaito standing there - but Len was in his 'punkish' outfit - which I renamed "Sexy Seduction Suit of Mass Destruction" - and Kaito was wearing his Cyber Kitty outfit. Len made his way over to me and put his arms under mine, helping me up. Mallow had slowly trudged her way into here, her eyes lidded with exhaustion. But as soon as she saw Kaito, her eyes widened and she nearly attacked the male. He purred and fell to the ground. I turned my attention to Len and my face became red, and my mind was completely lost in thought - until I noticed him walking towards me. He started to feel me up and I squeaked, feeling as if my ovaries were going to explode into sparkles and kittens - which didn't even make sense. He took me into his arms and whispered something into my ear that I shouldn't tell you. I mean it was...wow. Just. asdfghjklkyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa -aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa -a-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-aaaaaaaaaaa-aaaaaa a-aa-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-aaaaaaa-a-aaaaaaaaaa-a-a-a-aa aa aa-aaa-aa-aaaaaaaaaa...

What? Oh yeah. TEH STORY.

So uhm, I continued to be felt up by the blonde boy in front of me and he continued to whisper things into my ear. By then both of us girls were squeaking uncontrollably. Then suddenly, the boys stopped and backed away from us. They both smiled and turned away, walking off to some other place. I was speechless for a moment until I felt the strength to speak. But I wasn't the oh so _lovely_ person I am always set out to be.

Who the fuck am I kidding, I was practically me but yelling like I had just been left in the middle of sex.

"WRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. JUST WHY, YOU LITTLE - I CAN'T - I JUST - WHY DID YOU DO THAT YOU LITTLE MOTHERFUCKING LITTLE...SOMETHING...NNG I HATE YOU DAMNIT!"

;-;

I'm a sad, horny gemstone.

And then Mallow decided to join in.

"KAITO YOU ICE CREAM WHORE GET YOUR LITTLE KITTY ASS BACK HERE AND TAKE ME RIGHT HERE AND RIGHT NOW - YOU LITTLE SEXY KITTEN WHYYYYYYYYYY?!"

Then a bright idea came to me. I smiled deviously and ran outside, dragging Mallow behind me. I hid behind a bush with her until I saw the 2 curious males walk out. I silently moved - dragging Mallow on the sidewalk behind me.

"OW, OWOW, OWWWWW, YOU BITCH, SIDEWALK BURN!" She cried.

"Burn, bitch, burn." I sneered before running into the parking lot and a huge smirk covered my face. I lazily stumbled over to the giant machine - the road roller. Mallow's eyes widen is disbelief.

"Oooooooooooooooh_ fuck._ But we don't have the keys."

"BLING BLING MOTHERFUCKER!" I said, shaking the keys in front of me, which glinted off the streetlights. I climbed up onto the drivers seat and she climbed onto the flat part in the front, just above the large rolling wheel. I jammed the key in and turned it to start the large vehicle. I screamed something insulting to the world before peeling out of the driveway. Peeling out of a drive way with a road roller isn't doable, you say? Well fuck you it's my story. Just kidding, don't hate me. Besides, crushing a few cars in the process wasn't my fault, those jackasses parked terribly. Tch.

"TO NARNIA!" Mallow cheered on, waving her fist in the air. I sped up the dangerous machine and moved down the street. As my house came into view, I could see the boys standing in the street, confused as to where we ran off to. They slowly turned around and their eyes widened.

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK KAITO-NII RUN!" Len cried before turning around and speeding down the street.

"LEN YOU ASS DON'T LEAVE ME BEHIND!" Kaito screamed before following. Len was faster than Kaito, which made me smile in one of the most evil ways. Lightning flashed across the sky, and thunder rolled along the- wait, that was the road roller running over some useless house. What? It was in my way, and I couldn't turn quick enough...

"AH!" Kaito tripped over his own tail, and I snickered. Mallow lifted her head and called out to her ice cream-loving lover.

"THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR LEAVING WITHOUT MAKING ME-" Let's stop her there. The shrill cries of the man were weakened as we ran him over with the vehicle. I looked back to make sure he was ok. He lifted his hand and gave a thumbs up before completely passing out. I smiled deviously and continued to speed down the road. I was getting closer to my blonde lover - believe me I _do_ love him - who was struggling to run in his shorts.

"WHOOOOO WEARS SHORT SHORTS? LEN WEARS SHORT SHORTS!" I called out, right on the tail of the terrified male. "Leeen doooeesss~"

The male made the mistake of looking backwards. I lifted my hand and stuck my middle finger in my mouth, all the way in, before taking it right back out and sticking it up and him, tongue out in a mocking way. He blushed and I yelled out, "Pervert!" Before running him over with the large machine. I looked back behind us, and I saw that Mallow had jumped off earlier to go see Kaito. I left the vehicle to make sure Len was ok.

"Lenny~" I sang out, crouching behind the male. He lifted his head and blinked a few times, gasping for air. I gave him a small kiss before grabbing his arm and dragging him home behind me. I looked behind me at the poor male, giving a small smile.

"You bastard, you're lucking I fucking love you." I said, laughing insanely before walking into our home. Mallow had taken Kaito back to their place and she explained to me the next day that they had apology sex. I didn't remember much from what happened after the road roller incident, but all I know is that I woke up to Len and I both covered in bananas and whipped cream.

Fuck you all, I _know_ I got laid. :D

* * *

I GOD LAAAIIIIIID.

FUCK YOU ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

jkily all

some of you

bai

CRACK IS GOOD FOR YOUR COLON KIDS :hear:

_**S** a _**p _p _**h _i r _**_e_**


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